Tara

My heartfelt story of cervical cancer Post manipulation of my scar by my healer/acupuncturist, six and a half years after surgery. I experienced an incredible release of emotions. What did I feel?

  • Thankfulness.
  • Thankful for Jerry (my husband).
  • Thankful for Riley (our daughter born out of my cancer experience).
  • Thankful for my doctors and healers.
  • Thankfulness for my family and friends who suffered with me.
  • Thankfulness for Baker (our first born son).
  • Thankfulness for Tae (our son adopted from Korea in 2006).

I wanted to cry. And I did, very intensely. My story is about growing. The growing is in a deep spiritual way that I also very thankful for. Almost seven years ago I was diagnosed with adenocarcenoma insitu of the cervix. I was 11 weeks pregnant with my second child. I had seen her little, strong heart beating on the screen during a routine ultrasound. My husband Jerry was by my side (as he was throughout my entire experience with cancer). How scary it was to be diagnosed. I was (I thought) a healthy, athletic, young mother and wife. God gives you what you can handle in life. I was given a simple yet forceful wakeup call that my lifestyle was in fact not healthy and that my life needed to change. It is still changing today. How have things changed? I am more thankful, I am more balanced, I don’t strive for perfection and I love all of my family. I’m not perfect but I am more introspective, less judgmental and not striving for happiness but rather awareness.

I was 32 years old at the time of my diagnosis. My first son Baker was 2 years old. The gynecological oncologist I met first , handed me a sheet of paper that told about the link of HPV (a sexually transmitted disease) to cervical cancer.

All I could feel was guilt and shame. Did I bring this on myself? Was I too sexually active in my 20’s? Was I not careful enough? And then the classic one, Why me?

“Abort the baby immediately and have a radical hysterectomy”, the doctors said. You have to be kidding. I saw her heart beating. What are my chances if I don’t? Am I playing Russian roulette? Would Jerry be able to raise these two children by himself if I did die?

Yes, he is a great father. I can take this chance.

A medical intuitive; Reiki sessions; visualization; a macrobiotic diet; acupuncture; massage and yoga. Healers came out of the woodwork to offer a hand (or two) in my journey. They helped me to heal myself. I felt their power and the power of God. I wanted to live and I knew I would.

I also relied on western medicine. We found the cow boy boot wearing, pony tail sporting, libertarian who was the head of gynecological oncology at John’s Hopkins, Dr. Montz. I used to hate doctors and hospitals. I now have a new found respect and thankfulness for their precise cutting ability and potential to remove my cancer. There were also the nurses and hospital attendants that helped Riley and I pre and post surgery.

Dr. Montz is dead today. The strain of his job was too much. In a way he gave his life for people like me. Riley Maria Casagrande was born on Monday September 17th 2001 at 9 AM in the cancer ward of John’s Hopkins Medical Center. All 6 lbs and 15 oz of her were a miracle to me. Immediately following her birth I underwent a three hour surgery, a radical hysterectomy along with a sampling of lymph nodes while leaving my ovaries intact. Three days later, we were discharged from the hospital with a beautiful, thriving baby girl as well as the news that my lymph nodes where clear and I did not need chemo nor radiation. I had received miracles on all fronts. I was so thankful. I could nurse my baby, nurse myself back to health and I would need no further treatment for the cancer.

How do I give back? I raised thousands of dollars for the breast cancer 3 day walk. It was powerful to see and meet all the survivors. I testified at the DC council hearing for mandatory HPV vaccines for